Sunday, April 22, 2007

That existence....

that existence
that dim yellow light
and the cracked linoleum of the kitchen floor
upon which I learnt the art of palmistry
I knew I knew I knew
it would all come back
sweep me
swirl me
spit me out
to face it again
in the absurd clarity
that dim yellow light
that yellow existence
in that yellow yellow absurd
of escape that never ever happened
with that yellow liquid
pouring down the red gullet
and making everything everything black
what did you think night (haJ?)black night
no black black oblivion

that existence that dim yellow light
and the cracked skull
what did you think
that it would end dull
or that it would all continue
into one endless
formless void(?!)
where you dissolve into lack of pain
no longer avoid
the inevitable
face
it
place
who gives a shit
where…
must you know(?)
must you know(?)
NY NY
or
Moscow
what’s the difference
where you lose hope
where you lose life
where all you can utter is a bellow
that existence
that dim yellow light
so yellow
so GODDAMNyellow

2 comments:

Gennady said...

Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Yana Djin said...

well did you ever drive that truck through Herat?